I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We have so much sex to catch up on
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize