So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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