dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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