im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize