so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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