there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize