I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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