How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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