a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just high enough for therapy.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
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That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Shame - the story of my life.
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