I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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