You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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