do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize