Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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