I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
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I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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