so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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