he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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