Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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