you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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