Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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