Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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