I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize