your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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