the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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