I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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