is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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