My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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