White coat. Heels.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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