loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
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The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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