can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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