There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You ate ashes out of my bong
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize