Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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