girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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