he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
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You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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