There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize