Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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