Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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