FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize