In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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