i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
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Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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