We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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