Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize