I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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