Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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