Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize