it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize