so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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