Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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