So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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