he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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