i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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