Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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