just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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